


The Turning Point

by Karenkk



Series: Kintsugi [8]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 20:28:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18645526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karenkk/pseuds/Karenkk
Summary: Akihiro was always there, like an insistent shadow. Their eyes locked on one and another from time to time, and Javier was always the first one to look away. Those intense gazes were always there judging and weighing him.A yuzuvier story being told by both sides. Please read it as part of the Kintsugi series.Javier's POVRPS disclaimer applies.





	The Turning Point

Being caught by Kanako Murakami while kissing Miki was unexpected, to say at least. In hindsight, if they were trying to be discreet they should have learned to be more careful. But Miki was so beautiful after delivering an amazing performance, her smile blinding and her happiness infectious so he couldn't help but stole one tiny kiss. They thought they were well hidden by curtains and shadows, only to be interrupted by an excited squeak from Team Japan's gossip queen. They looked at her, then each other in stunned silence, before burst out laughing like a pair of 12 years olds. 

That was how their let's-keep-it-quite-until-after-the-shows plan went out of the window. But it was OK, they thought they were ready. Their hearts were so full with emotions that they could hardly contain, filling to the brim and ready to spill over anyway. So they went out hand in hand the next day, bravely faced all the good nature teasing together. 

Yuzuru, who was amongst the crowd, eyes widen with shock. But he collected himself soon enough and clapped with the others. His smile was sincere, yet somewhat strained. It was the first time in weeks that Javier had landed his eyes on his rink mate since Helsinki. And the Spaniard, as reminded by his guilty conscience, realized he should have shown a bit of consideration and tried to speak to the Japanese before all these. He was raised better than those guys broke up with their ex through avoidance. Even though what they had wasn't exactly a relationship....... still Yuzuru deserved better. So he called his friend, if he could still call him that, and asked to see him.

His heart nearly stopped after coming to the rooftop as agreed, seeing the younger man sitting behind the security fences, with his feet dangling in the air. His thin silhouette in his black jacket made him barely distinguishable from the vast darkness before them. 

His heart started working again once the Japanese made it back from the other side of the fence. Yuzuru's smile was timid yet polite. Despite lack of light, it was easy to see there was something else hidden behind that seemly perfect facade. The younger man took his words calmly, even his apologies like it wasn't a big deal at all. But Javier's own thoughts kept going back to that night. His head filled with images of fear-stricken eyes, tear-stained face and bruised lips. The older man looked at him in disbelief, couldn't believe he was forgiven just like that. But that cowardly part of him was so relieved. The overwhelming guilt was finally released a little, giving him some room to breathe. 

It was good to have the Japanese back as his friend, he thought, as he hugged the younger man out of pure habit. Initially, Yuzuru tensed up, Javier had a moment of panic, realizing his mistake. Just as he was about to let him go, Yuzuru softened against him, and let out a content sigh. The Spaniard, overwhelmed by the level of trust his friend still had in him, tightened his hold. With that familiar figure between his arms, he realized he missed it as much as the Japanese did.

Everything should have gone back to normal, with them back on friendly terms. However, Javier couldn't shake the feeling that there was something not quite right about his friend. He had been intimately familiar with Yuzuru's body for years. It was obvious that he had lost a substantial amount of weight in the last few weeks. Even though the Japanese always struggled to maintain his muscle mass during the off-season due to less regimented training, it had never been this significant. Not to mention the ever-present dark circles that were shocking contrast with his sickly pale skin. 

The Spaniard was worried, so he started to pay more attention. The missed meals, the late night training sessions, there were all there and easily enough for him to see. However, what worried him more was how glassy his eyes had become, completely void of emotions. But with their renewed friendship still being so new and fragile, he didn't know what to do. He shuddered as he wondered how much of it was his fault.

Akihiro was always there, like an insistent shadow, taking care of everything. Their eyes locked on one and another from time to time, and Javier was always the first one to look away. Those intense gazes were always there judging and weighing him, silently warning him to stay away. And Javier, who could almost feel that familiar darkness inside of him, stirring, waiting for that right moment to strike again did exactly that out of fear. He simply couldn't bear the thought of hurting Yuzuru again.

He was so distracted, even Miki began to notice. Her patience finally snapped when he forgot that they had planned to head to Nagoya together so he could meet her daughter Himawari for the first time. It was a big milestone in their relationship. Miki, who had gone through a few bad ones previously was hesitant to expose her child to people she dated unless it was getting very serious. Kids were impressionable, and she wanted to shelter her as much as possible in case things didn't work out. 

"Perhaps this isn't the right time, Javi." She said, always kind and understanding, "Maybe next year. "

Javier panicked at that moment. He could see all so clearly that this was the turning point in their relationship. It was either going to make or break them. Miki, who was beautiful like the sun, who understood him like the back of her hand, who filled him with so joy, who he knew in his heart he couldn't afford to lose. So he pulled out the mini skating boots that he custom ordered for her daughter, with pink and sparkling flowers and butterflies, just to see her eyes softened. 

So they went to Nagoya as they planned when they had a three-day break between the shows. Himawari was a bundle of joy, Javier got attached almost immediately. He held her in his arms, talking to her in a mixture of English, Spanish, and a few broken Japanese words, just to hear her repeating these back with giggles. They took her to the local rink. He carefully tied the laces on her new skating boots and held her tiny hands as she made her first stroke on the ice. He turned around just to see Miki smiling at them, his heart flooded with so much love. It just felt so right and yet so wrong. Because no matter how much he tried, he couldn't help but think of the other Japanese with dark and sorrowful eyes.


End file.
